what stuff is made of

I wrote a blog entry friday but for whatever reason...it is not here. So here it goes again. On friday I had a meeting with my supervisor, Angela, to review how my first week went at the Hogar. She also gave me a tentative schedule for the next month or so. Starting tomorrow I´ll be ¨in charge¨ of watching over the youngest seven girls...Melinda (the youngest...she´s five), Maruja, Liset, Diana, Julia, Monica, and Eva. My day will start at 7:40am when I catch the ¨Batman¨ bus to the Hogar. From 8am-11am, I´ll be helping in the sewing and handicraft workshop. At 11am I´ll go pick up the seven girls from the sala de estudio and walk with them over to Niña Maria (the name of their dorm). I´ll help them get dressed and cleaned up for lunch and school. After lunch I´ll walk with them to school which is about 15 minutes down a really busy sreet. I walked with them friday and was blown away by how the row of girls, hand in hand, were able to j-walk across one of the busiest streets here...dodging taxis and buses that are at least 4 times their size. From 2pm-3pm I´ll help out in another workshop...then it´s spanish class until 5pm. The girls get out of school at 6pm so I´ll be there waiting to walk with them back home. And this is my schedule...for now.

I had an interesting weekend...spent much of yesterday with new friends...and spent much of today sleeping, eating, and resting (tanke wut wut!). As soon as I get off of the computer, I´m going to meet up with my roommate and her boyfriend to to go some big festival here. I´ve already forgotten the name...but it´s supposed to be the second biggest event here. It started at 3pm today and will last until late tomorrow night. So we´ll go check out some music, food, dancing...and who knows what else.

Earlier I was feeling pretty bummed out. I got to talk to Sean for a while which was good...good to process. I was just thinking about what I must really be made of. I miss home and everyone like crazy. And when I get to talk to my parents, or sean, or the tankes...I feel strangely like I am myself. But then I was thinking that I am probably more myself here because I am forced to face who I really am here...without my family, friends...the comforts of knowing how to say what I want to say...the stuff that I don´t have as much control over. Here, I get to see what I am really made of at my core. what about me is more unchangeable than not? what am I running on? when it comes down to it...what do my actions really show? this has been both disappointing and exciting to learn about. I told Sean that I didn´t feel like a very quality person. He told me that it´s okay because we know the way to quality.