Lord, help me to seek humility.

The weather has definitely taken a turn for the better. The past few days have been for the most part nice and sunny with only a little bit of rain in the afternoon. Yesterday, Candy (one of the new staff here in Kcauri) came to work and was telling us about everything that is going on in Lucre (where she lives). Most of the homes in Lucre were washed away, including her home. I asked her what the government was doing for those left without homes. She said she didn´t see them doing much. Those whose houses are still standing have opened their doors to those with nowhere to go. Candy said these homes are completely packed. Everyone else is living in tents. As she was leaving, I gave her a big bag of clothes to take back with her to Lucre.

Today she came back to work carrying a bag full of choclo. She said everyone was so grateful for the clothes. They had all sent me choclo from their crops to say thank you. I was speechless. How is it that these people, who have lost so much, can give me this? yeah...so I gave them clothes, but it wasn´t like I was going to be lacking anything...I have way more than I need...my day-to-day life will not be greatly changed because I was giving away clothes that I rarely even used...I´m not suffering. I felt my heart break and swell inside of me. I wanted to cry...how could these people think of giving me anything let alone part of their crops that were now mostly washed away. It was very humbling. I feel like an ¨expected¨ response would not be to give away from the little left of one´s possessions...let alone food. I feel safe in saying it would be completely justified to think of oneself, one´s family, and how to survive after an occurrence such as this. I have never met these people...they could have just written it off with a quick, ¨wow, that was nice of that gringa to give us clothes.¨ But they wanted to give me something. Their gratitude moved them to act and in a way they bridged a gap between us. They made a connect instead of leaving blank unknown faces and moving on. At first, I didn´t want to accept it. However, I knew that not accepting might offend them and take away from what they wanted to do. All I could say was, ¨Thank you.¨

Please, God, may I feel so full of gratitude that I am moved to act, to love others as these people have shown me. Life is not about being helped, saying thanks, and then moving on still only concerned about one´s own needs. We are to live as a community, with our actions showing our connectedness to one another. May our livelihood be wrapped up in that of our neighbor.

January 27, 2010

It continues to rain in Cusco, but where I am (in Kcauri-Quispicanchi) we had hardly any rain all last night and this morning...so we are praying that the rain continues to calm down here and throughout this region of Peru.

Most of the news I read online is about the situation at Aguas Calientas, where many of the estimated 2000 tourists are still stranded because the railroad is still damaged from the mudslides.

There has been talk of the governement sending tents, food, and other supplies from Lima for those whose homes have been destroyed. However, people I talk to and whose families have lost their homes don´t seem to think this will happen any time soon. A common frustration I hear is that the wealthy and tourists are being helped first. Travelling back to Kcauri yesterday I passed through Oroesa, Huacarpay, and other small poor towns close-by where many homes have been washed away by the Huatanay River. I saw a van and people lined up to receive food. Aside from this, I didn´t see very much help for the people. In the Plaza de Armas in Cusco there is a big donation tent set up where people can bring clothes, food, and supplies for those left homeless.

Sacsayhuman (in Cusco) and other historical sites in the Sacred Valley of the Incas have been affected. All major roads in and out of Cusco have been closed off.

It´s hard to find out what´s going on. I see what is going on right here close by where I live, but the rest is what I hear on the radio, read online, or what people say. Not sure if the situation here has really hit the news stateside, but I live in a pretty isolated community...so if any of you hear anything and can pass me a quick email with any more recent info on what´s going on, I would really appreciate it.

I´d also like to ask you to please join with me in prayer for all of those affected by the heavy rains...those who have lost loved ones, lost their homes, crops, animals, for the governement here, and those stranded in Aguas Calientes.

I miss you all very much. Can´t wait to see you. Thank you so much for all the prayers, encouragement, and support. Through each of you, I have felt in a very real way God´s love. Thank you.

Much love,
Tasi

January 26, 2010

I´m currently living in Kcauri which is about 2 hours away from the actual city part of Cusco. I stay here Monday thru Friday. On the weekends I make my way to the city to visit friends, go to church, and in general do errands. On my way back to Kcauri two days ago, my heart broke as the bus I was on slowed down to wait in a long line of cars and buses trying to make their way across a pool of water and mud that was knee high. To my left and right I saw what remained of what used to be people´s homes, crops...beautiful green land as far as the eye could see. Monday morning, rooftops and wooden doors half covered in mud (many of homes in the campo are made from mud brick) were the only proof that at one point, homes were there...as the rest of the buildings were literally swept away. To my right I saw pigs and livestock, dead on the side of the road. To my left, I saw crowds of people trying to help a family gather some last belongings from their home, which was already waist-high in water.

It is normal for it to be raining pretty regularly right now in Cusco but only at night. Today marks the fifth day of non-stop heavy rain, all day and all night. As a result, many of the rivers have overflowed, roads blocked due to mudslides and boulders. I heard on the news today that 2000 tourists were stranded in Machu Picchu because the railroad was blocked. They are either in the process of getting airlifted out or are already on their way home. Several bridges have been swept away along the Sacred Valley. I had to go back into Cusco early this morning for work stuff. On the way back to Kcauri again , I saw more of the damage of the heavy rain. There were people sitting on the side of the road, with all they had left at their side. On the radio on our way back, we heard that so far in Cusco, there have been 8 deaths and 50 left injured due the flooding and mudslides. There have also been a few deaths of tourists who were hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. The rain continues to pour.

I´m trying to read up on the latest right now online, but due to a very slow internet connection (I think this office is he only place that has internet in Kcauri) I´m not sure how possible that will be. I just read from BBC: A state of emergency has been declared in south-eastern Peru, where the authorities say up to 3000 people have had their homes destroyed. So please, pray. There are many people suffering...here in Cusco, other places in Peru where this is also happening, in Haiti, as well as other parts of the world. I´ll do my best to keep everyone updated on everything that is going on here.

@ the corner

It was around 10:00am and I was playing Go Fish with Eva and Katy when Mami Maria asked me if I could do her a favor. The other Mami who is usually here in the morning didn´t show up to work because she is sick. So I was asked to make a trip to the hospital to do something with some papers for two of the girls...I didn´t really understand exactly what I was supposed to do. But a pile of papers and forms were plopped into my hands. I was reassured when she told me that one of the girls, Susana, would be going with me and would explain exactly what I needed to do when I got there. When we got to the hospital, Susana said she was just dropping me off and had to go to school. She scribbled some stuff that I was supposed to ask for on my arm, left me in a line, and was off. lovely.

I was in line for two hours before it actually started to move. After standing in several lines, paying fees for medical histories, more lines, and making two appointments for the next day, I was done. It was around 1pm and I decided to sit for a couple of minutes outside before heading back to the girls´ home. An eldery woman was approaching me. She wore long gray braids under her hat which was full of some of the brightest flowers I´ve ever seen. When she got closer I smiled and said, ¨Allillanchu,¨ which is Quechua for ¨Hello¨ or ¨Good day.¨ Her face lit up. She set her cane down and stood next to me. I asked her what her name was and she must have thought I knew a lot of Quechua because she started talking really fast. All I understand was that she was going somewhere...the rest of it I just smiled and listened. I felt her eyes blaze right through me. Then she held out her hand. It took me a second to realize she was asking for money. I reached into my bag and handed her five soles. When she saw it, she immediately without hesitation threw her arms around me...mumbling sweetness to me and holding me tight.

She didn´t hesitate or hold anything back. It caught me by suprise. It was so genuine. I needed that hug. It felt so pure...from a perfect stranger who hadn´t thought twice about what she was doing. It was her reaction...without thought. She and I had no past, no shared experiences, no background together whatsoever. And just like that she shattered my world and showed me love without words. We stood there for a while. She didn´t seem to want to let go so I put my arms around her. The top of her head almost reached my shoulders.

She threw me a last twinkle from her eye before walking off. I watched her as she picked up a rubber band that was on the sidewalk. She looked back, smiled, and was off. Tears streamed down my face. I´m not even exactly sure why. It´s not that I felt sorry for her...it was her embrace that moved me. It felt like a brief moment´s release from something caging me in. And I cried there on the corner of Avenida la Cultura and Manzanares.

As quickly as she had come, she was gone. I was left with a full and grateful heart for the warmth of a pure hug. Thank you, God.

not reading in San Blas

Yesterday we had another bus strike in Cusco. Roads were blocked off by fallen trees, huge boulders, and trash to prevent any buses who chose not to strike from being able to drive. There were armed police on almost every corner. Many businesses closed for the day, along with almost all of the schools. This meant that the streets were crowded with school children playing volleyball and soccer in the street (in the middle of the trash, tree branches, and rocks), protesters, people on bikes, venders, and huge masses of people who had to walk (sometimes from way out in the campo) to work instead of taking the bus.

I left the girls´ home around 11am to go visit the girls at the bakery where Meghan works. It had been almost a month since the last time I had seen them. It took me an hour to make my way through the crowded streets and finally up the steep stairs to the bakery. But I was warmly greeted and it felt so nice to catch up with familiar smiles.

Around 1pm I decided I´d try to be productive instead of going home and taking a nap. It was a nice day to find a spot outside to read. I left the bakery and found myself seated on the steps in front of the church in the Plaza de San Blas. Right as I opened up my book to get my read on, Yanet made her entrance. Yanet is eight years old. She was trying to get the tourist sitting next to me to buy a knitted finger puppet that her stepmom had made. She asked the tourist where she was from. The answer she got in return was, ¨No.¨ So Yanet thought she would try her luck with me instead. We ended up sitting and talking for a good half an hour. In the end, I bought a chancho (pig) finger puppet that she would, after much thought and discussion, later name Tiolín. We shared some yellow jello stuff and she told me about how her stepmom had sent her into the city with 20 finger puppets to sell. Of these 20, 15 had been confiscated by police because Yanet got caught vending in the Plaza de Armas (which is prohibited). She sat there next to me trying to figure out what to do so that her stepmom wouldn´t beat her. Her mother had died just after her little sister was born. Yanet was two years old at the time. Her dad remarried and her stepmom was constantly hitting both her and her younger sister.

I had been her only sale for the day thus far. Yanet thanked me for the purchase and the jello and said she had to go make at least a few more sales before going to meet up with her aunt. After she left, I looked over at the tourist sitting next to me and asked her in English where she was from. I never caught her name, but she was a nurse from Seattle on vacation with some friends. She noticed that I was reading ¨The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down¨ which she had already read. This striked up some good conversation that lasted until Yanet came back. She was looking pretty discouraged until the nurse from Seattle decided to purchase a spotted dog finger puppet. She quickly got up again to go look for more possible clients.

I wished the nurse luck and safety in her travels and found a bench on the other side of the church...next to the big fountain. Five minutes into my reading, Yanet popped up next to me. She was tired and hungry. I offered her an orange I had in my purse. She thanked me but said she´d eat it later because if you eat an orange in the sun it will give you a fever. Moments later we were approached by Belizbez. Belizbez is 10 and knows Yanet because they both sell things in the Plaza de San Blas. Belizbez wanted me to buy a coin purse that her mom had knitted. I bought one and she took off to buy some lunch at the market. Shortly after, Yanet also left to go to her aunt´s store.

Opening my book again, I heard a familiar voice call out, ¨Tasi!¨ It was our good friend, Juan Carlos! I think the last time I saw him was when Meghan and I went to his son´s baptism...months ago. It was a pleasant suprise. He, too, had been kicked out of the Plaza de Armas where he was trying to sell some of his paintings. We chatted for a while before some more of his artist friends joined us and asked if we were going to go watch the big soccer game at the stadium. I thanked them for the invitation but told them I was on my way back to my apartment to eat lunch. Juan Carlos took down my new cell number and said he´d be calling Meghan and I to stop by and catch up with us.

Later in the afternoon, Meghan and I went to sit in the Plaza de Armas. There were so many people. One can definitely see that we are entering the height of tourist season. We enjoyed the downtime...in silence, people-watching, and also talking about where our thoughts were. Later in the evening, we decided to continue our relaxing night of fellowship with some arroz con leche. So we headed back to the Plaza de San Blas where a woman sits every night selling very rico arroz con leche. We took our disposable bowls and sat at the top of the fountain. As we slurped down the last of our delicious dessert, I recognized the beautiful face of a new friend. Yanet had come to the fountain with a bucket to gather water for her aunt who lived nearby. She seemed excited to bump into me again...and was more than pleased to get to meet Meghan, too. She couldn´t stay long but asked if we´d be back in San Blas tomorrow (today). We told her we´d try really hard to go and see her. She smiled and was off. It was the best day spent not reading ever.

It´s going on 2:30pm here in Cusco...another three hours until Yanet said she´d be in San Blas. It´s hard to believe that is already Thursday and tomorrow will be Friday. This weekend we´re going camping for a night. One of our friends, Freddy, has some beautiful property in the campo next to a lake. I am really looking forward to some relaxing time next to the fire, listening to friends singing and playing the guitar, sleeping under the stars, and playing soccer the next day.

I am definitely thinking about and missing everyone at home. Love you all and wishing you the best.

greetings from chile

It's been a long while since I last wrote. A lot has happened in the past month that I should have written about. I write this from a friend's laptop in Santiago, Chile. I arrived late last night and spent much of today on the metro and making my way to the Peruvian Embassy where I will return again tomorrow to hopefully finally get my resident visa. Before my arrival here in Santiago, I spent a wonderful week at the beach in Arequipa with the lovely Meghan Hurley, my roomie. It was our first real trip together. We spent some quality time soaking up some sun, staying up late talking on the balcony of our hotel, reflecting, relaxing, and recuperating from the Cusco flu...did I mention ceviche?!?! It was amazing to enjoy some fresh fish! Although it may have not been the best choice for my stomach, my taste buds were more than pleased. Meghan returned to Cusco and I continued my journey down south to Chile.

It was a good day. I was pretty proud of myself for not getting completely lost on the metro and for being able to find the Peruvian Embassy and whatnot. Afterwards I found myself passing a coffee shop that happened to be playing some Ella Fitzgerald..."First you say you do, and then you don't"...I don't know the name of the song but I hadn't heard it for a good while. It immediately sent me back to fourth grade. I remember gathering up enough courage to sing it when my dad had the karaoke machine in the class. It was right after Stephanie Saum sang "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls" by TLC.

I landed me a spot in the corner on a comfy couch where I enjoyed a huge coffee, a little downtime of writing, and reading some of Paul Farmer's "Pathologies of Power." It's now going on 7:30pm. I'm staying with some friends who I met in New York during training to come to Peru. Their roommate, Michelle, has been here for over two years and will be catching a plane back to the states on Monday. So this weekend I am really looking forward to more downtime and enjoying the fellowship of friends and good company before hopping back on the long bus ride back to Cusco. Again, I apologize for not keeping this up to date. I will try to write more frequently. I hope this finds all of you well. You are missed and loved.

teach us to be one

Cusco sometimes seems like a place of extremes...or maybe extremes isn´t the word. Alot here is centered around tourism. If you walk around the Plaza de Armas at night you can plan on being bombarded by fliers for massage parlors, fancy shmancy restaurants, discotecas, and bars. Then there are also those who stay out until late vending anything from arroz con leche to crocheted Michael Jackson finger puppets. Even still, some sit out in the cold Cusco night with their hands held together and extended to anyone who might stop to give them some money. Weaving through it all every night are tourists...usually on their way to a club.

A while ago, Meghan and I began discussing the idea of walking around the plaza with hot tea and bread in hopes of offering some warmth and a sense of connectedness to what many times seems like Cusco´s cold and chaotic nights. On a Friday about a month ago at around 8:30pm Meghan and I filled up two thermoses with Canela y Clavo Tea and headed toward the plaza with a bag of 20 pieces of bread. This past Friday we were joined by four friends and with four thermoses and 50 pieces of bread, we walked around Cusco´s lively streets.

Most likely, tea and some bread on a Friday night will not change anyone´s circumstances in the grand scheme of things. But it is a step...an action towards...recognizing our brothers and sisters? Or at least it is an attempt at that.

As I walk down dusty roads or
busy concrete boulevards
help me God to take the time to see in the eyes of the other,
to recognize the other, in order to respect.

As I encounter many peoples, many races,
help me to appreciate the hand of the other,
to recognize those hands that create and build, in order to work together.

As my path calls me to various places,
help me to learn to walk together with others on paths that lead to peace,
recognizing that by walking with others, in working together,
we learn to recognize ourself in the other,
to recognize and appreciate our differences.

And begin to recognize what love is about.

-Jennifer Jag Jivan in Pakistan